When Coaching Feel Threatening
One of the best parts of my job is the opportunity to provide coaching support to teachers. My passion is helping other educators reignite their passion for teaching. I believe that all of us need a coach. Someone to help us clarify our goals, identify multiple pathways, support us as we take risks, and to celebrate our successes. This is the work that gets me out of bed in the morning. The joy of coaching a teacher as they achieve their goals is the same as those glorious lightbulb moments that we strive for in the classroom.
However, sometimes being on the coachee side of this partnership doesn’t feel as awesome. Sometimes it brings on feelings of anxiety, anger, and stress. Fears of incompetence and judgment may rise to the surface. This is real. It is normal. I get it. I know, because I’ve been there.
During my third year teaching, at a staff meeting, my principal announced that she was going to place our instructional coach in my classroom for the next six weeks as we prepared for the state assessment. She was doing so because I was “struggling to teach math.” I had 44 fourth graders. The year before 17 of them had scored academically unacceptable on the state assessment, and benchmarks showed that most of that group was at risk of again not meeting the passing mark. I immediately went into full-on defense mode. I was not struggling to teach math. They were struggling to learn math. I didn’t need a coach. I just needed another qualified teacher to help me run small groups. I was mortified. At this point in life, my whole world was consumed by teaching. It was beyond embarrassing to be called out for not being successful. I was angry. I felt blindsided by this public announcement. I was fearful that my peers were judging my competence. I was resisting the notion that I might need to know more.
And yet, it was that same experience that changed my outlook. Not at first, of course, but over the next six weeks, my perception began to shift. My coach entered my classroom, asked me if it would be ok if she just observed for a few days. Then she coached me through a reflective conversation where I came to my conclusions about the data she had collected. Together, we developed a plan that included her leading a small group. I came away realizing that the only person judging me was, well, me. That insecurity existed before the support was offered, and honestly, it still exists today.
Having access to a person who is committed to helping you achieve your goals is a gift that should be unwrapped with boundless excitement. We know that each student deserves a champion. Someone who knows their hopes and dreams. Someone who helps them identify pathways to overcome obstacles. We know that students who have this type of relationship with a supportive adult are 30 times more engaged in school. We also know that an alarming 70% of educators are not engaged in their work. This statistic comes from the most recent Gallup poll, which defines engaged teachers as those who are enthusiastic about and committed to their work, constantly looking for new and better ways to achieve outcomes. To me, it follows that if we know a supportive and caring teacher increases student engagement, then teachers who have a supportive and caring coach will also see an increase in engagement and performance.
As a coach, I stand firmly on this belief. I’ve already released judgment and embraced the curiosity of how I might be able to help you identify the pathways around your obstacles. How might I be able to mediate your thinking to help you uncover your untapped potential? How might I be able to provide you with a mirror reflecting the stories that are holding you back, and a window to the view from the other side?
What has been your experience with coaching? How can you release judgment of yourself and seek opportunities for personal and professional growth? If you knew you had a champion, what new goals would you tackle?
You might consider working with a coach if any of the following statements resonate with you:
I need to improve my confidence and self-worth.
I want to cultivate a sense of gratitude and grace in my life.
I want to be more compassionate and less critical of myself and others.
I need to learn how to prioritize my goals and responsibilities better.
I need help to break through the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving my goals.
I need help determining the appropriate action steps to meet my goals.
I want to find a sense of balance or fit that best meets my personal and family needs.
I want to simplify my life. I’m tired of living in the middle of the whirlwind.
I want to be happier and experience more joy in life.
I want to make changes or advance my career.
I want to become a stronger leader.
I want to build my brand and position myself as an expert in my field.
